Hey there,
So I have not used you/written as much as I feel like I should have.
Kinda wish I really had right now.
Cause I'm sat here on my bedroom floor thinking about all the moments I don't want to let go.
I want more time. I want the Christmas and new year's I was promised.
Remember that time I had a bad day and I blogged about this whole analogy of how the human mind is programmed to remember the worse things, how bad memories stick more than good?
How come everytime i think back about my time all I can see is the good? I don't see any of the moments when I would have ran back, the times I was so frustrated that I just wanted to get through the day, the feeling of just wondering why did I do this.
Because they were surely there, those moments of not-so-perfect-happy-memories definitely existed. I felt all that, I experienced all that.
But all I see is the perfect almost rose coloured even moments. They kinda really do have like a sepia filter over them. The kind you use when you make a farewell video and want it to be all emotional and look-backy.
Being back has been confusing. Like I'm here, but I also feel like I should be back there. Im just figuring out the in-between. 'one step closer to being two steps far from you'
I was pretty scared that everyone would have moved on and gotten too busy for me, that i'd be left standing there wondering what happened.
Thank you for proving me wrong. Thank you for having time.
Someone told me don't rush into work, you'll feel like you've lost all time.
Yeah, it feels good to make plans with sorta no commitment to worry about, but being at home is also kinda making me go crazy.
You know the old saying, absence makes the heart grow fonder?
Turns out its true.
I feel like I've lost the special moment/feeling I had with people.
There was something about having one-sided conversations and waiting for the right moment to listen to voice notes.
But if something special is to remain special, then its can't be forever. It has to have its limited time. Its all part of the special feeling. That the moment is temporary and fleeting.
I hate this in-between. I wish things would settle and all just change at the same time, in one fell swoop. Cause that would be a lot easier to deal with, than this. This being back to where I was, but not being the same person is hurting.
\Waste time with me, in the dead of night when time seems to move slow.
Down to Earth
It's like I'm frozen, but the world still turns
Stuck in motion, and the wheels keep spinning 'round
Moving in reverse with no way out
And now I'm one step closer to being two steps far from you
When everybody wants you
Everybody wants you
How many nights does it take to count the stars?
That's the time it would take to fix my heart
Oh, baby, I was there for you
All I ever wanted was the truth, yeah, yeah
How many nights have you wished someone would stay?
Lie awake only hoping they're OK
I never counted all of mine
If I tried, I know it would feel like infinity
Infinity, infinity, yeah
Infinity
