Never believe anyone who says you don't deserve what you want. -Taylor swift
Its actually quite a good thing to listen to. If you really WANT it, you'll work for it. You'll make sacrifices and fight for it. After all that effort and heart put in, who's to say you don't deserve it? To deserve something, i used to think it meant you were good enough for it. You had to prove yourself and if you fail then you'd be deemed unworthy. I now realise that wanting it, working for it, proving for it. It means you deserve it.
But then again material things are different. For now i just need to feel like i deserve what i have. I need to stop thinking I am unworthy of everything. Maybe I don't need to feel \
Am i awake or am i asleep or some where in between. \
Its been on repeat loop in my head " You have nothing to fear if you don't feel"
Guess from the lack of posts its quite obvious nothing exciting going on in my life. But today, i feel better. After the rushing and mad dash and crying over water and log books today's' good. For one my week has ended no sch for me tmr cause my lab group's on break. Awesome timing for break.. Also last class test for some time. Surprisingly i feel pretty okay about how i did. Granted it was last minute studying (never thought i'd care so much about percentage that , that would be the motivating factor to pull through. Din work though) the paper was more on topic 2, which i was cool with. Topic 3 questions confused me, but its only 10 marks so can't lose that bad there. RS result came out though, an A. ahahahaha given that its probably the easiest paper for whole of poly and the most give away i was still elated nonetheless to see that A. wow my class is pretty good, got the most AA people compared to the other C side classes.
Had some pem meeting thing on wed, he weirdly got us a lab/room from the LS side area. Apparently we are all one big happy scl family, but our card got rejected at the door. Also, that place is like some freezer hall place. I could see the condensation on the outside of the window, my gosh those ls people waste so much air-con/electricity/fossilfuels. Ridiculous i know, but i keep pushing things to 'the two week break'. ha break no more sista. I seriously am not adult owl material. I tried to stay awake and study on wed after i got home. Gahhh i was reading my slides and i just slip out. Lucky I din fully fall asleep, if I did without my alarm I'd be late. Having two 8am days one after another is tiring, especially since my wed ends at 11 and thur at 6. Like every week tue/wed/thur is a blur till i get home thur and feel sane. Ahahaha sometime i think, wow its so bright out how come im home? Need to work something out soon still got two month plus ish left with this timetable.
Tuesday:
Oh my. It was a fairly good surprise thing i guess. I for one am very proud of all my clues and stuff. The cake was amazing( duh i bought it ) the second part the 'bash' though. Uhh, no comments? It was terrible. (insert laughing tone) Dude, you don't intend to bash someone and not expect to get dirty. You want to go all out, then go all out and get bashed back idiot. It was pretty entertaining, sort of the starting was slow for me. Something happened and she started crying. Im all like what? People fill me in, i go to console her. I would have hugged her, but she was covered in flour and all, so nope. I felt like crying myself. To feel so upset and cry on your birthday is just terrible. Things are half solved now. Its still rocky especially when the person is the oddly sensitive sort.
After that the two part surprise/attack for hamizah!
But girl your act surprise face was good. The whole bag/present situation in pasta was just crazy. Why we even think such things is beyond me. Tip; don't play guess the birthday present. Despite a heart attack with the guitar, we still did it. YAY, the song was great, the music terrible, location pretty shady..ahahahaha i have no idea what i wrote in my card, i just know it looks nice. But got this feeling it sucked, as in the words part probably wrote complete nonsense.
I said oh my! What a marvellous tune. (OMG i have her album. I get to hold it in my hand. I see her face on the cover! Weeeeeeeeeee still on a RED high (:
