The conversation was quite long ago actually.
It was the first day i had gone to the office, had an orientation type thing happening.
When is was time to go back, one of the people offered a ride home. The person would be stopping at ACJC and well im the person you look to when you're traveling in that direction.
It was raining, we were in tuas and yes i wanted to go home. So i said yes.
It was a long ride about an hour plus. But we kept talking, somehow honestly i din feel so well and would have been really happy to just sleep.
But yes so somehow the conversation led to me talking about the ppt presentation i once did for the module comm skills.
It was in year 1, like a present yourself thing.
So while people, wrote stuff you get from a personality quiz like perseverant. logical, funny blah blah i chose to present my bucket list.
Point of this post, I remembered mentioning the bucket list and went to find it.
Woah, I still have it in my laptop.
So i open it and wow.
3 years can really change someone i thought.
But actually I didn't change, well i did but not in this context.
In 3 years one really grows. One develops and learns more about themselves.
We constantly learn new things about ourself, things we did not think we could do, stuff we did not know we'd show interest in.
My bucket list included:
Skydiving,
driving a ferrari
standing on top of a mountain.
I have since (3 years later) come to realise i have a slight fear of heights and am afraid of acceleration.
So hopefully the wow makes more sense now.
I wanted to drive a Ferrari, For someone who now does not want to take a driving license and am even afraid of being in the front seat (cause i can see the person going faster and my brain just overthinks, not good) that seems really stupid.
So I have grown and learnt of my fears.
Also in the car ride home i understood the whole mummy ride/roller-coaster thing.
ITS THE ACCELERATION
Its not completely the height, cause come on the mummy was really dark.
Its the fact that its going soo fast and then the dropping.
Its the speed i have a problem with and also roller-coasters in general are a scary thing okay.
In life we will always change and we will always learn new things. It may seem scary to some but its also what keeps life interesting and liveable. We might not want to admit that we have changed, but i feel that once in a while we need to stop and reflect on the past.
Perhaps ask ourselves, what would the me 5 years ago feel about the me now?
Proud, disappointed, upset, curious? hahahaha the most basic, would i recognise myself?
Its alright to change, its part of the process of life. Some aspire to never change so much that they can't recognise themselves. But in the case of some, that is exactly what they need to do. They need to leave behind everything they were and become a better person.
This love is good, this love is bad
this love is a life back from the dead
