im still alive but im barely breathing..
its just a song, but it suddenly seems so true...
today morning woke up wanting to go bacck to sleep badly
but i had made plans with ppl so i force,
in the end to realise they don care enough to show the same effort.
that pissed me off
then fri;
well not sure if i still hate humairah?? confused.. i think i did extra =awesome cause i sick of her.
but then they like it so like uhhhh 'what just happened?'
so i assume i had fun on fri. cause i sometime enthu for the hyper things for my scene later on
well had my one on one with humairah... then ballet then do for g
g was super impressed i was like, finally!!! these stupid ppl get what they want..
they had like some farewell speech thingy..
i was amazingly super high after the ballet, my scene awesome..
then keep adding random comments
but otw home someone has to make me feel bad and ruin the high i had...
bus ride = tired/want to get away
so went home did proj... im pretty sick of having to do the extra work in all the projs
but then again i don't trust the other ppl to do a good job or even do it for that matter
ppl come on! its graded based on presentation skills not content??
and you tell me you don't want to practise?
and seriously that lecture is useless, you already tell me you learn from tuition one
so u can't skip the lecture to practise
they are going to pull me down. arghhhh i hate group work/presentation
they always get on my nerve.....
okay back to today or technically yest anyway sat;
went on time obvi no one there..
siang azfar came over....talked and waste time
saw hanisah, got prob with dancers
after that h came, open room
today was mostly take care of props/costumes/artistic scene things
then at 6 got run through
i was hesitant even before my scene, cause it suddenly wayne again
din do as well as yest, but i believe that yest i had reached my peak
luq thought it was good, g liked it ... but i can see h face i already feel bad...
she din need to say anything i knew where i had screwed up
then after that stupid seniors who don listen will bring it up agin...
like pls la i know okay~ i feel bad so shut up
and j, aahahaha see that i about to cry send s...big mistake, like she is the water tap
even if i don, she will then will make me so like uhhh major wrong move
the wrapped up..
seniors dump us go yishun, we go bishan'
left at like 11 shoots
got home at like 12
ppl took train, i and s take bus but diff bus..
w was walking home.... odd but he walked us to the bus stop and waited till the bus come.
then on the way home was thinking. like w is main lead but he also got stuff to do. but he gives alot of energy and effort.
and he is in most scene
yet im struggling with this one scene, i am in no position to complain..
but i feel bad that i they think i can do better, and i have no idea if i can
when full run through i went outside did my scene alone, the skipping takes alot out of me..
was super tired out of breath...
i never regain my breath till screamy...and i just stand there and be scared
gosh im happy scared happy scared in the same scene so many times..
suddenly people have the same line of thinking, scary sial
but maybe its for the best??
anyways after production i doubt we'll be this close, and it won't matter anymore
cause no one is going to care already.
so i don't change?
i feel like crying, but nothing comes out...
its like every time im on the verge i suck it in..
has anyone let a person cry, like why comfort!!??
just hold them and let them cry their heart out cause maybe sometimes thats what you gotta do
We found love in a hopeless place= i found joy in a hopeless place
cause its super short term and never going to work out
At times i wonder if its real or just that we were used to the arrangement that we din move?
